Stories start here:
Twist Kiss Story
I handed my five dollars to the carnival gypsy.
In hope she could tell me about my future.
I sat down in the chair she gestured to.
She ran her hands over the crystal ball like you see in corny movies.
She spoke to me in a heavy Spanish accent.
“You like boy in your school, yes?” She asked looking at me.
I shyly nodded at her.
“His name David Voss?” She said closing her eyes lazily like a cat after a meal of mice.
I felt like the mouse.
“Yes” I whispered.
Her eyes snapped open.
“You no talk you listen.” She snapped at me.
She reminded me of a snapping turtle.
Her old leathery face relaxed.
“You want boy to kiss you?” She asked.
Afraid to speak I nodded again.
“You shall be kissed by boy.”
“Really?” I asked feeling my face light up.
“Mmm” she nodded in time with her talking.
I jumped out of my seat and shook the gypsy’s hand.
“Thank you so much!” I told her as I shook that bony hand.
“Wait girl, wait,” she yelled after me as I bolted out of the tent and to the horse arena.
My best friend Leah was standing there waiting for me.
“You won’t believe this” I squealed to her.
She arched an eyebrow.
“What?” She asked with “The Look.”
“David Voss is going to kiss me tomorrow at school!” I said jumping up and down.
She put her hands on my shoulders and held me down to show me that gravity still existed.
“The David Voss, the one you’ve had a crush on since prep?” she asked in a calm voice.
“Up top” she said sticking her right hand up and offering me a high fiver.
I slapped her hand as she grinned.
I looked up to the sky
“We better get going.” I told her as we split up and headed in different directions.
I ran down stairs so I could put my shoes on.
I shoved my foot into the sneaker.
I took my shoe off and removed a pink rock from it. WAIT PINK! I did a double take.
Of course it wasn’t a rock it was a piece of paper.
I unscrewed it.
Boy you think will kiss you won’t.
it be different boy you must not go
to school! – G
Yeah right I thought as I screwed it up and threw it into the rose bushes.
I arrived at school before the bell had even gone.
There was no one in sight.
Maybe I need to apologize to my alarm clock I thought.
It must only be 7:00.
I walked into my class room to put my bag in my pigeon hole.
My class turned to look at me.
My smug look disappeared.
Maybe I was wrong.
I opened my backpack slowly to retrieve my homework it was covered in pink slips of paper.
I ignored them.
“Nice of you to join us Miss Jones.” Mr bell said as I put my work on his desk.
“Open your maths book to page 30.” He said silencing the entire class while he was glaring at me.
5:00 minutes before lunch time I received a note.
Some of us are going to play kiss chasey at lunch.
I really hope you come and join.
It’s at the Old Hill.
“WAKE UP Amanda!” Mum yelled throwing a bucket of water at me.
I sat up, looked in the mirror and screamed.
I saw the face of what looked like a sloth that had been put through a clothes dryer then soaked in water staring at me.
The crinkles in its face relaxed when mine did.
Oh it’s my face.
I relaxed now knowing that I didn’t have to worry about wild animals in my bedroom.
I looked at my alarm clock.
8:39 it read.
Oh no I’m going to be late for school.
My clock turned over to 8:40.
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP it went off.
I pulled the cord that was giving it life from the wall.
I carried it over to the window undid the latch opened the window and threw the alarm clock out muttering.
“Useless piece of junk.” over and over.
I got up and went to put on my best clothes.
I pulled a dress out of the closet.
I looked at it.
It seemed too small to fit my body.
I look at the tag half ripped.
Size 6 it read.
Okay I thought.
Second best clothes.
When the bell went I bolted to the hill forgetting all about lunch.
I got there to see Billy, Anna, Gus, Leah, Ruth, Tom and David.
David clapped his hands together.
“Its boys catch girls. Girls get a twenty second start.”
“On your marks, get set, go!” He yelled.
Twenty second later someone came up behind me.
They tapped me on the shoulder.
“I caught you, you have to stop.”
I came to a holt.
I turned around to stare into the face of………….
“We have to kiss because I caught you.” He told me.
I closed me eyes as he closed his.
That woman was just I batty old lady I thought.
A real nut-job.
David’s lips meet mine.
She was wrong this wasn’t a bad prophecy.
It was a good one.
It was a kiss prophecy!
Bet you thought it wasn’t going to end like this, HA! HA! HA!
Too bad he had bad breath but. HA! HA! HA! HA!
Jumbo Jig saw Puzzle
‘ZEKE JACKSON DON’T YOU DARE FALL ASLEEP IN MY MATHS CLASS!!!!’ Mrs Hafer screamed at Zeke.
Zeke woke up with a start.
‘Huh, wah, what the?!’ Zeke thought. ‘Oh that’s right I’m in the murderous maths class, taught by the one and only Horrible Hafer.’ Zeke chuckled to himself.
Zeke Jackson (as you may see) was not Mrs Hafer’s favourite student In fact Mrs Hafer hated Zeke and as a result Zeke hated Mrs Hafer.
‘So class as we were discussing before, before we were so rudely interrupted.’ She said as she shot Zeke a sour glance.
‘Y=log X, If Y=10, then what is X?’ Mrs Hafer wrote on the board then she looked at Zeke.
‘Zeke Jackson looks pretty eager to answer the question.’ She said smugly.
Zeke groaned in frustration; she was always doing this to him asking a really hard question and making him answer it.
‘Well not today.’ Zeke thought. ‘Because I’m going to get this one right.’
Zeke stood up and said as loudly as he could. ‘X=1’
Then he sat down triumphantly.
‘WRONG.’ Mrs Hafer sang.
‘Brook Shields can you please tell us the CORRECT answer. ‘Mrs Hafer asked looking at Brook.
‘Sure,’ Brook said smugly. ‘the answer is 1’.
‘CORRECT!’ Mrs Hafer beamed at Brook.
‘WHAT! But I said that.’ Zeke said infuriated.
‘Hmm, I don’t recall it.’ Mrs Hafer said putting her finger to her chin and pretending to think.
‘Now pay attention.’ She snapped at Zeke so fiercely it would make a lion run and hide.
Zeke sighed and looked down at his desk he was surprised to see a note.
He looked around and saw twenty five students staring blankly ahead as Mrs Hafer continued with Algebra.
Zeke slowly opened the note quietly so that Mrs Hafer wouldn’t hear and read the note which said:
ZEKE, YOU ARE GOING TO GET
TRAMPLED BY AN ELEPHANT
AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU
CAN DO ABOUT IT HAHAHA.
‘Hmmm, okay I think someone has seen to many SAW movies.’
Zeke thought although he couldn’t shake away a cold feeling in his bones that stayed there for the rest of the day.
That night Zeke dreamt that there was an elephant chasing him and when he couldn’t run anymore and fell to his knees, he saw the elephant taking one big leap
and then Zeke woke up covered in sweat and before he knew it he was on his mobile phone ringing the local zoo and asking if he could hire a zoo keeper to tell him what to do if an elephant was chasing him.
‘WHAT!?’ The zoo keeper said astonished. ‘Mate it’s 3am in the morning, but if you hang up now and let me get some sleep then I’ll come over on Saturday and it won’t cost you a thing. Okay?’
‘Ok, thanks.’ Zeke said but the zoo keeper had already hung up.
At exactly 5.00pm on Saturday a huge 4WD pulled up outside Zeke’s house and it was towing an enormous box trailer.
‘Hmm, probably full of equipment.’ Zeke thought.
Zeke ran out to greet the zoo keeper. He was a bald man in his mid thirties.
‘G’day, Zeke is it?’ Said the man. ‘I’m James Dean the elephant trainer. I’m here to give you some tips on what to do if you are ever chased by an elephant in Africa.’
‘Umm, but I’m not going to Africa.’ Zeke said suddenly wondering if he had called the right person.
‘Well why did you want me to come here if you are not going to Africa? I mean seriously have you ever seen an elephant charging around here?’ James said astonished.
‘Well I just want to be prepared. Like just in case.’ Zeke confessed. ‘I mean if I ever do go to Africa one day.’
‘Okay then.’ James said obviously still unsure.
‘Well, where should we start?’ James said ‘The first thing you need to do is……..’
Suddenly he was interrupted by a loud trumpeting noise.
‘Umm, what was that?’ Zeke asked hopefully.
‘Oh, don’t worry about him, it’s just Jumbo.’ All the other elephant keepers went to a wedding and I got stuck with him.’ James reassured Zeke. ‘You see we all take it in turn babysitting him on weekends.
He’s twenty years old but he still misses his mummy. Not only that.’ He said as he stopped to take a breath.
‘But I was also wondering Zeke if I could stay at your place tonight because the hotel I’m staying at burned down last night.’
‘Ah sure it’s the least I can do.’ said Zeke starting to feel decidedly uncomfortable. ‘But you will have to sleep in the basement where there is a spare bed and the elephant has to stay in the trailer okay?’ said Zeke grinning as if his problem was solved.
‘Okay.’ said James grinning. ‘That’s fine and don’t worry about Jumbo he’s the gentlest, sookiest elephant in the world he’s harmless. Anyway let’s get started on the elephant lesson.’
BEEP BEEP went a noise inside the house.
‘Oh um I made some small snacks for us to have.’ Said Zeke embarrassed that he had interrupted the lesson. ‘You may as well come inside and stuff yourself with food I mean the lesson can wait seeing that you’re staying the night and everything.’
Half an hour later they both lay groaning on their couches.
‘Ooh I’m so full.’ Groaned James ‘I’m so tired I can hardly move.’
‘Wait’ Zeke said ‘What about my lesson.’
‘Don’t worry.’ James said ‘We’ll do the lesson tomorrow.’
‘Ok thanks.” Zeke said looking at the black rings under James’ eyes. “But for now I’m gonna go to bed and I suggest you go as well.’
That night there was a HUGE Thunderstorm not just a little rain and thunder but pools of rain and huge booms of thunder so loud it sounded like a drum in your ears and lightning so bright it was like a camera flashing.
Zeke thought he heard the twisting and wrenching of metal and the sound of distant trumpeting.
Timidly, slowly he went outside to investigate and tragically for him he forgot that elephants are scared of storms. As Zeke entered the back yard a dark grey shape loomed through the darkness. He instantly knew what it was but he was too full of donuts to run very fast or at all.
Zeke tried to escape but his legs felt like his mum’s homemade stew and he couldn’t seem to move them they were frozen to the spot. Meanwhile the giant animal came rampaging straight towards him.
Zeke suddenly had an incredibly strong feeling of DEJA VU so there he was trapped like a waddling penguin with a huge elephant charging up behind him.
Zeke tried one last time to move but he only succeeded in falling to his knees. The last thing he saw was an elephant taking one big leap then ………. BLACK.
PS Rule 1:
When trying to escape from a rampaging elephant make sure you are not full of junk food.
Information courtesy by Bear Gryles. (AKA Jigsaw) Man Versus Wild. Series 2.
The Burnt Stick
I went to the Melbourne Museum to see the Argentinosaurus skeleton. It’s from Argentina. I thought it was huge! I went over to see how big my hand was compared to its leg. When I got close, I touched a leg bone. Suddenly the lights disappeared and huge trees and stars appeared. I felt like someone was watching me. Just then a small feathered Velociraptor leapt from the bushes.
It growled at me and started walking very slowly towards me. I was scared out of my body. But luckily for me I had some matches and I knew that most animals are scared of fire. I lit a match and used it to light a little bit of wood; it became a fiery torch and when the tiny dinosaur saw it, it ran away.
It was then that I figured out what had happened. Somehow I had gone back to the dinosaur age.
“But wait, wait!” I thought. “What do I do to get back to my time?”
As I was thinking I heard BOOM BOOM BOOM, my ears ached. BOOM BOOM BOOM! I followed my ears to the source of the sound. I eventually came to a clearing and saw a herd of Argentinosauruses they were walking into the distance, when suddenly a huge Megalosaurus leapt out and ran towards a baby Argentinosaurus. I was shocked, I’d hate to see a baby die and without thinking I flung my torch at the Megalosaurus, it roared in pain and fled off into the trees.
I looked at the Argentinosaurus and I was so happy that I ran over and hugged him. When I grabbed him, he made a noise like he was purring and then he licked my face.
Suddenly I was back at the museum. Did I make it up?
Well, the next morning I looked at the news. A paleontologist had made a discovery.
It was a burnt piece of wood… By Michaela
A CRAZY NOTE FOR A NASTY TEACHER by Rowan
Dear Miss Dragon Breath
I’m sorry my son was late for school for you see world war 3 broke out right outside our house this morning.
So Ben tried walking out but he got shot by a laser pistol luckily for him though he still had 1 life left, or it would have been game over
So, after a bright flash and a loud ringing noise he found himself back in his room in his pyjamas. It was lucky that at that precise moment the Mario Bros arrived with AK-47’s and begun firing at the evil Brick Blocks. Sadly Mario lost all 3 lives because of DK.
I’m telling you it was a sad day for Nintendo. But Luigie managed to get past DK losing only 1 life and he gave my son Ben a lift to school on his cloud.
P.S. Ben has reached Bowser’s level and you may be attacked by a huge Dragon Turtle at any moment my advice is to grab him by the tail and swing him around your head until he dies.
That Lucky Dog by Travis
I was walking down a dreadful and horrible looking alley in a really bad neighbourhood. I put my dark, black hood over my head to hide myself so that no-one would approach me. I really didn’t like this alley there was something sinister about it, but I had to continue down it to get across to my house.
Suddenly I heard some strange sounds ahead of me, they sounded hollow and they echoed through the darkness. For a moment I thought I should retreat back away from the noise but I was so close to home that I thought I should just keep walking.
Then in the distance I saw someone. Quickly I hid behind a big barrel of oil. For a split second I thought it was a guy but then I saw that it was actually an old crooked lady. The next thing I knew, she had disappeared – I couldn’t see anyone, man I was freaked. I slowly came out from behind the barrel and looked around. I continued walking slowly down the alley when suddenly she was there beside me.
I was shocked and yelled at her. “What do you want?”
She just looked at me with a wrinkled smile on her face and said
“Do you want a magic hat?”
I didn’t trust her, absolutely no way so I replied “What’s it in for me?”
“This is in it for you young man!” She said as she pulled a Black Toll hat out of this dark evil looking wheelie bin.
“Wow.” I said. “Cool hat, but nothing too special.”
“Oh but it is special.” She said mysteriously. “In fact it’s a magic hat just think of something you want and then pull it out of the hat. We can prove it right now if you like. Just name what you want and then pull it out of the hat.”
“Ok then.” I said, “what about a dog, I’ve always wanted a dog?”
“No problem.” She said as shoved the hat towards me. “Pull out a dog.”
I reached in and, seriously dude, I felt scruffy fur and then a leather collar. I grabbed the collar and pulled out a dog. I looked at it, it was big and scruffy
“Unbelievable.” I said “That is way cool, that is exactly the kind of dog I’ve always wanted!” “Marvelous.” She said “That will be $200.50c, you give me the money and the hat is yours.
“Hey what’s with the 50 cents?” I asked her.
“I just need that amount of money to get something I’ve always wanted.” She said crossly.
“Hang on.” I said. “Why don’t you just get it out of the hat?”
“Don’t be ridiculous you silly boy.” Snapped the old woman. “That young man is a young person’s hat it is totally unsuitable for a woman of my age.”
“Rrrriiight! Fine.” I said as I looked in my wallet, took out $300 and handed it to her.
The lady grabbed the money and the weirdest thing man in the blink of an eye my money was gone and she handed me the hat. Then she looked at me wickedly and said. “Thanks for the tip.”
I tell you, that made me angry and I was going to tell her off when suddenly the dog snatched the hat out of my hands and ran away with it on his head.
“Stop you dumb dog.” I yelled as I chased him down the alley. I sprinted after that crazy mongrel for what seemed like 2 hours. It was like that dog couldn’t get tired, but I was determined to get that hat.
Finally I cornered the dog and he tried to jump a fence and tripped. I quickly ran over and grabbed him and I tell you I held him very tight and took the hat off him.
The next thing I did was I told the hat to pull out a nice red and shiny Ferrari! And seriously I put my hand into the hat and I felt something smooth and shiny and then I felt a bumper bar so I grabbed it and I pulled out the Ferrari.
I tell you I was no longer angry I was pumped “Wow!” I thought “That car is worth way more than that $300 I paid the old lady. You little beauty.”
Then I casually walked over to the Ferrari but when I opened the door the dog grabbed the hat out of my hands popped it onto his head again, jumped into the red Ferrari and drove away.
I was really mad. I screamed. I yelled. I tried to chase him but it was useless. I can’t catch a Ferrari. Not even Usain Bolt could catch a Ferrari. Unbelievable!!!!!
So I gave up on the hat… “That Lucky Dog.” THE END
My first suit! By Shaineel
One day shaineel was walking down the street after school. On his own that’s right, all alone you see it was his body guard’s day off.
Then he saw a boys-wear shop it said “Free Magic Suit- today only – limit one per customer.”
Shaineel was amazed he raced into the shop, the suit looked like a body suit that Rey Mysterio would wear in the PS game Smackdown Versus Raw.
Shaineel bought the suit straight away because Rey Mysterio was his favourite all time wrestler.
When he got home he put on the mask, the “619 finishing move pants” and the “Mega Abs shirt.” Then Shaineel looked in the mirror, he looked like he was on roids because he was fully ripped and realllllllllllllllly strong.
Straight after that Shaineel walked down the street to show off his new Abs as he walked he saw a boy coming down the street in a John Cena suit.
“That dude must love John Cena as much as I love Rey Mysterio.” Thought Shaineel. Then he looked at the other boy and said
“BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Immediately they began wrestling.
Shaineel did a STFU move.
The other kid did one back.
Shaineel did a Pedigree move it was awesome.
Then the other kid did his John Cena signature kick.
It stunned Shaineel so he decided to end it.
“This stops NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He Hissed and then shaineel did the 619 finishing move with the Super Pin Side Salad.
The other boy groaned and said “Game over Dude you’re the top gun.”
“Tell me something I don’t know!” Shaineel said with a snarl. “Anyway I’m out of here.”
Shaineel walked home and when walked into the lounge room he saw his dad lying on his Laze-boy snoring his head off, but amazingly he was wearing a full sized Undertaker suit.”
“Huh!’ Said Shaineel “He’s Dad’s favourite all time wrestler, too cool.”
Eventually Shaineel’s dad woke up he looked at Shaineel and said “Love your suit.” “Thanks dad.” said Shaineel. “It’s almost as cool as your’s.”